Posted by Elise Som
on September 02, 2026
The tween years are tricky for parents. Your tween is likely becoming more independent, having more complex friendships and relationships and beginning to take an interest in social media. Social media bans and headlines declaring “youth mental health crises” probably don’t help ease any of those anxieties. Here’s what you need to know about your tweens and their mental health.
Sometimes their big emotions are not just the result of the surging hormones of puberty. Around one third of mental health disorders onset by age 14. Half of all cases of anxiety onset by age 11, and a quarter begin as early as age six. In other words, out of all adults who have anxiety, half of them had it onset by the tween years. Mental illness accounts for a staggering 45% of the burden of disease in 10-24 year olds. If you have a history of mental health disorders in your family, it is worth paying attention to signs of anxiety or low mood in the tween years because many mental illnesses also have a genetic component.
There has been a steady decline in mental health over the last two decades, meaning that more than ever, teens are even more vulnerable to mental illness. The media often focuses on social media as the main driver of decreases in mental health in young people. However, a review of the evidence from the leading experts in the field, and published in one of the most prestigious academic journals in the world, shows the trend is complex and associated with multiple global issues such as rising intergenerational inequality, unemployment levels, stagnant wages, climate change as well as unregulated social media. Much of the evidence for the association between teen mental health and social media is correlational and cross-sectional. That means we cannot directly attribute social media as the cause of declining mental health (for example some studies have shown the reverse effect in that those with mental health problems are more likely to excessively use social media).
How can you distinguish between normal worries, mood fluctuations or tricky behaviours, and signs of mental health problems? Keep notes - and be very specific. Take note of the frequency of mood changes or problematic behaviours (is it once in a while, or everyday), their duration (was it last week around exam time, or for the last two months) and their triggers (is it after scrolling social media, or only on school days). If day-to-day life is being impacted, for example causing problems at school, avoiding socialising or affecting appetite or sleep, these are all signs to seek professional advice. Your GP is the first port of call, and prepare to be a strong advocate for your tween - you know them best and what is normal for them. Speak to your tween’s teachers or coaches about how they are in settings outside the home. Because they work with lots of adolescents, they have a good idea of what is typical for your tween’s age and they benefit from a perspective that is different from their home environment.
Speak openly about emotions and mental health, without judgement, and particularly avoiding shame. If tweens feel ashamed of their thoughts, moods or behaviour, they will hide it and drive spirals of negative thinking that will only worsen their mental health. Teach your tweens self regulation skills- that means monitoring and managing their thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Teach them to regularly take note of their feelings and actively do something to help themselves. For example, if their mood is very low, talk about what they could do to try to make themselves feel better. Maybe it's to go for a run, see a friend, or have a duvet day. Self-regulation is a vital part of managing physical and mental health. Model these behaviours by talking openly about your changing moods and anxieties and how you manage them.
Many organisations are doing amazing work and providing resources to support tween mental health, including The Child Mind Institute and Young Minds.
Dr Veldsman has a PhD in Cognitive Neuroscience from the University of Cambridge, two decades of academic research experience, working in some of the world’s best universities, including the University of Oxford. She has over 80 peer-reviewed academic papers covering neuroscience, neurology, psychology and mental health. She is the CEO of Playroom which helps parents raise awesome kids using the latest research from developmental neuroscience and psychology.
